All the old posts from the old Your-Japan.com on the Your-Japan Blog Network

Japanese women: Are they subservient and submissive as many in the west believe? Are they shy and docile? Are they immature and childish? Are they fashionable? Are they sex-starved nymphomaniacs or cold fish? Are they as easy to get into bed as some would have you believe? And, do they really treat their man like a king or are they liberated to the extent that they don’t need men?

These are questions many western men have asked and one I have come across on many forums and blogs. The answer to the above is both yes and no. It all depends on the woman as well as the man she is with, but one thing I can say for sure is that the one common thread all Japanese women I dated really had was that they know damn well how to take care of their man and make him feel like he is the most important person in the world.

In my younger years in Japan before settling down with the woman I am married to, I had a good 4 -5 years to play the field so to speak after my initial marriage ended in divorce after only two and a half years. It wasn’t that the marriage failed because of miscommunication or incompatibility, it ended because I was forced to realize that I married for lust and not love at 20 yrs old. In truth I was not ready for marriage, had not finished playing around, and should’ve never gotten married at the time. In fact, I married the first woman I met after only being in Japan a month!

After the amicable divorce I vowed to not settle down and marry again, if ever, until I was good and ready to get married. I would not marry again until I was sure that I had had my fun and found a woman that I was completely compatible with on all levels including intellectually and sexually. Impossible you say? I thought so too and figured I may never get married or find the right woman for me, but have patience, date many types of women and you’ll eventually find the right one.

Japan can be a wonderful place for a single male. Just don’t fall for one because she is great in bed or has a great personality. There are other factors involved. As with women anywhere, she may be great in bed, but is a real bitch otherwise. She may have a great personality, but can’t do squat in the bedroom and never will, she may be a great person, but will nag the hell out of you, etc. etc. It’s so easy to find and date women in Japan that sooner or later the right one will come along that is just perfect for you and it may be when you were least looking for it!

As a young college student, I had the time of my life and ran the gamut of Japanese women from rich to poor, from nymphomaniac to cold, lifeless fish. I dated OL’s (Office Ladies) and bar hostesses; HS students (when I was 19 and in my early 20’s) and college students, and a couple of older women in their 30’s and 40’s. I also dated the truly subservient, submissive well-educated type of woman and, while appealing to many western men however, this type was not at all appealing to me in the long run. And I dated, and married, a liberated woman.

Imagine what it would feel like to walk down the street and have young women squeal and comment on how cute you were. Imagine what it would be like to have women come up to you almost anytime and anywhere to just talk to you or just to meet you. Imagine walking into a strange bar or night club or live house and have women patrons want to sit with you or be asked to be introduced to you just because you were a foreigner. And, if you spoke Japanese, you had an even greater advantage especially in the Japanese only places that you frequented. Granted this didn’t happen on a daily basis, but it happened often enough to really take notice of. Yes being a young foreign college student in Japan sure had its advantages.

I almost married a beautiful, rich model, but there were many problems in the relationship so I broke it off. I thought a flight attendant and I might get married, but her father forbade her to see me after meeting me and she broke it off. And I fell in love with and frequently dated for three years the bass player of a fairly popular all-girl band, but she only wanted fun and sex and not a serious relationship. Thanks to her though, I discovered a side of sex that most men only fantasize about. However, if it were not for her I never would’ve met the woman I am presently married to for 22 years. In time I will write detailed stories of all these relationships.

With the majority of Japanese women I dated and bedded there were practically no taboos when it came to sex. This completely blew me away as it was something I was not used to. Maybe it was because, with the lack of religion in Japan, they were not brainwashed into thinking that sex was something evil and dirty. Japanese women made sex fun and they made kinky seem normal!

Being a shy foreigner in Japan it was quite easy to meet Japanese women as most of the women usually made the first move. If they didn’t make the first move because they were shy, it became quite easy for me to approach them with more success than failure after I understood how to read and react to eye contact from them.

Back in the late 70’s when disco was popular it was great to go to one of the many discos in Roppongi where you could spend the night for a cover charge of 3,000 yen (about US$15) and it included all you could drink and eat all night! All I and my friends had to do was get there early, find seats near the dance floor, and within 30 minutes or less some Japanese woman, or women, would come up to our table and ask us in English to dance. That was all there was to it! I hardly ever had to ask a woman to dance and if you went home alone or without a phone number it was usually because you wanted to. In most, but not all cases, if she didn’t come to your place she would ask you to hers or you would both spend the night in a hotel. Rarely did you go home alone.

To be honest, if I could do it all over again I would gladly trade anything to relive those five years in the late 1970’s early 80’s when Japan truly was, and probably still is, a paradise for foreign males as far as the opposite sex went.

Even though I dated many types of Japanese women, some seriously, there was always a common thread with them all and that is, as I said above, they made you feel like the most important person in the world. When they came to visit you at your place they usually cleaned your apartment and washed your clothes and even cooked you meals after buying the food! They didn’t do it because it was expected of them they did it because they wanted to and cared for you. If we went out together they would often offer to pay for the date or split it, but I never allowed it except in rare cases. And none were ever shy to be with a foreigner in public.

Although a few had little experience in sexual matters and just laid there, most were experienced, knew what a man wanted and when the bedroom door was closed, even the most conservatively dressed, librarian-type of woman could act like a whore and make you glad you were a man. When it came to the bedroom, only one or two were inhibited in my experience. Shy yes, but there almost nothing that was taboo with them. The word immoral was not in their dictionary and what may seem kinky to many westerners was deemed just a normal part of sex to the Japanese women I had relations with.

Many foreign men I knew in Japan often took advantage of these two sides of Japanese women and used them selfishly to their own advantage. They would try and sleep with them on a first date, often successfully, without ever realizing that the woman was giving herself mostly because she was shy and didn’t know how to say no as they were not used to a foreigners tactics. Granted there are more than a few "foreigner-experienced" Japanese women who will sleep with any foreigner on a first date, but I am referring to the Japanese woman who has little or no experience with the foreign male and just wants to meet them.

Foreign males would often use a Japanese woman as a kind of slave to clean their apartments, wash their clothes, cook their meals and have sex with and had no plans whatsoever of being truly serious with them. I have seen many men just up and leave the country after dating a particular woman for a year or more much to the detriment and shock of the Japanese woman.

In my own experience I learned about Japanese woman and why they prefer foreign males over their own kind and used that to my advantage when there was one I particularly liked. I would often never try to sleep with them on a first date unless it was they who pushed the issue and made the first move. If they didn’t make the first move or I didn’t receive the "signals" I would wait a few dates and, more often than not, it was they who crawled all over me and made the first move. It made sex that much more interesting and I feel as if they appreciated it in the long run. In other words I did not want to give them the impression I was just out for sex, especially if they were experienced in dating foreign men as probably 99% of the foreigners they dated probably tried to get into their pants on the first date. Don’t get me wrong here, there were more than a few women I slept with after just meeting them that evening as, like two ships passing in the night, it was what we both were looking for, but there was rarely a second or third date.

Being a foreign male in Japan does have its advantages and if one ever wondered what it feels like to be a rock star or someone famous and have women wanting to meet you, all one has to do is go to Japan to experience it. From some of the blogs and posts on forums I have read I gather the same holds true today as it did 30 years ago. Since I have been married for 22 years I have been away from the scene quite a while, but it is nice to know that not much has changed out there for the single foreigner.

Also, in my own experience, since I could speak Japanese almost fluently, I had greater success with women in Japanese only places or places where foreigners rarely, if ever, visited as I was that much more of a curosity to them. The fact that a foreigner could speak Japanese made them that much more interested in you. Besides, it practically tripled your odds in meeting women as many, if they did not speak English, would not approach you or shy away from you if you approached them in English.

Eventually I quit going to places where many foreigners frequented as most of the women there were too "westernized" for my taste. They were clever and sly and knew well how to take advantage of the unsuspecting, horney foreign male looking to get laid. I have seen many a men taken advantage of and/or hurt by them and I was one. Be cautious in these places as these women are experienced and smart in the art of using foreign men. The same goes for hostess bars that are frequented by foreigners.

Still, even today, when I visit Japan and hit all my old spots and a few new ones here and there, the eye contact, curiosity, and interest is still there from women I have never seen before and I know I could "score" again if I acted on it. Granted, the majority of the women eyeing me or talking to me are not in their 20’s or early 30’s anymore. They are closer to my age, but the interest is still there and I am glad to see that a foreign male, regardless of his age, is still the interest of Japanese women.

END NOTE: Due to the prosperity of Japan and the Japanese the reality is, unlike many other countries, Japanese women do not date foreign males hoping to marry them for a better life outside their own country. They date them and want to meet them because the curiosity is there. Japanese males sadly, for the most part, still treat their women badly especially after marriage and a Japanese woman does enjoy being treated like a lady and not being taken for granted especially when the relationship gets serious.

One downside to this though and one that I hear from quite a few people these days and read of often, is that quite a few Japanese women only want a foreign male as a "boy toy" or fashion accessory with no intention of being serious. If marriage is not your goal then I guess that would be fine as who in their right mind would turn down free sex? On the other hand, I hope you don’t fall in love with such a woman. But then again who knows?

And one final note of advice, if you’re going out to meet women in Japan, dress well. You don’t have to be fashionable or have expensive clothes. Japanese women are usually very conscious of how a man dresses himself and judges him accordingly. Tee shirts and shorts are a turn off to many Japanese women. Dress sharp-casual with clean slacks, (jeans are ok) a nice shirt (preferably button down) and clean sneakers or shoes. You’ll have a lot more success.

Okay, well, It’s 6am here again. I’m so used to waking up at five, getting dressed, buying a coffee at Le Madeline, then catching the street car down to school in time for 7:00. Here, school doesn’t start ’till 8. I don’t really have too much of a problem with jet lag anymore, though I do like to take a nap in the afternoons. I’ll write a bit more before we have to go- my second day awaits!

Remember all the stuff I wrote about Fujiomi before? It’s all true- he’s the vice-president of the student council, and co-captain of the soccer team. Reading back on what I wrote about him, I feel like an idiot for assuming he was a little kid. Yesterday morning (and thsi morning too, probably) he left before Sukiko and I did, but I got to walk with her to school. It was breezy outside- so I had a lot of trouble keeping my skirt down. Oh- and I even have one of those leather bag thingies to keep my books in! Like you see in animes- I bought one with the school crest on it when I bought my uniform. But-Sukiko told me that usually only guys use those. The girls use cute backpacks or messanger bags. Eh- whatever. I like my little leather briefcase thing.

It took us a while to walk to the station, but I didn’t really feel to tired until we actually got on the train.The station is a good twelve blocks from her house, but I saw SO MANY STUDENTS walking there! I recognized some girls wearing the same uniform as me, and it was oddly funny to see the guys wearing gakuran, all unbuttoned and untucked. Sukiko also pointed out students from private schools. One of the private school’s uniforms looked almost JUST LIKE my school back home.

I saw a LOT of girls with dyed hair. But- it’s like a strange monochrome. There’s black, ldark brown, burnt sienna, tan, and orange. That’s about it. It’s just varying degrees of orange, black, or brown. I only saw one guy with colored hair, and it was light brown at the tips. That was it.

I got The Stare, but not as much as I thought I would. Though- I’m sure once I PASSED people, they’d turn to look, and I just couldn’t see them staring.

We got on the train, and at one of the stops, Sukiko’s boyfriend got in the same car as us and stood next to her. I’m a little bit taller than him, actually, but he’s a nice guy. He goes to our school, but he’s in a different homeroom. His name isn’t Hiroshi, it’s Takashi.

Well, we went to school, and I had to go to the guidance couselor’s office to get my schedule and a tour of the school. We walked around fr most of the first class, him jsut rambling on about Japanese history. I didn’t even know most of it, but every once in a while he’d say something like, "Isn’t that interesting?" and I’m reply with, "Oh yes, very interesting!" He had a really weird rumbly voice, and his chins wiggled when he made the "r" sound. It was entertaining.

He finally took me back to my classroom, and I introduced myself.

Twenty three Japanese kids stare at me. The counselor coughs. A cricket chirps in the distance.

OMG- Do NOT tell me I said something wrong in front of EVERYBODY.

Well, apparently I didn’t say anything wrong- they were just suffering from Gaijin Shock. The teacher led me to my seat. I’m the third seat in the fourth row, sort of in the middle of the room. It was really quiet. I had some trouble sitting down in my skirt, and I swear I heard some of the students laughing.

After that, the teacher continued on with her lesson- poetry, I came to learn. I barely even had time to focus on understanding the language before the bell rang. I didn’t even know it was the bell- it sounded more like the dinging of an elevator. I just looked around, like, "I wonder what that is…" before I noticed that the teacher had left and a new one had come in. It was a young-ish looking guy, with a reeeeeeeeeealy small face, and squinty eyes. His hair was all gelled back- i bet it’s hard like a helmet, too. I’ll call him Mr. Eh. That’s the noise he makes when there’s too much silence in the room

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….Eh…….*cough* Ehhh…."

He wasn’t even waiting for an answer for a question. It was jsut all quiet while students took notes and stuff,a nd he would walk around the room, doing his "ehhh" thing.

Mr. Eh teaches physics and is the coach for the basketball team. He seemed really friendly to the guys in class, and they joked around with him a lot.

Fast forward- morning break.

Sukiko is in another homeroom, but she came to mine to visit me,a nd introduce me to her friends, Mai , Ruri, and Nana. They were all really nice, and asked me to fill out their profile books. I had never seen one before, so I took them all and just kind of looked at them for a sevond, They were all different types and sizes, but they all had blanks for similar questions, like, "Birthday" and "blood type". I filled them out- and I got to hear what a pocket bell was. They all showed me theirs. It’s like a pager, but instead of phone numbers, you send messages to each other. I learned that they have special Pocket Bell personal ads, sort of like a personal ad in America, but instead of flirting via email or text message, they use Pocket Bell. I don’t really get it- it sounds like taking a step backwards in time. Why use a pager thingy when you already HAVE a cellphone that is also an MP3 player, camera, and handheld computer?

I asked them for their info in return, pulling out my notebook and writing on different pages, "MAI," "NANA," and "RURI".

Nana: Hey, that’s English! That’s how you spell my name in English?

Me: uh, yeah. It’s one of the ways you can spell it.

Random guy: Hey- write my name in English, too!

Random girl: hey- say something in English!

Me: (in English) "Something".

Ruri: Oh! Oh! What did you say??

Me: I said something.

I spent about half the break writing down names, addresses, and sentances in English. I got told a LOT how tall I was. (I’m about 5′6" 1/2. ) I wanted to say that they were jsut short, but that seemed rude.

One thing that I noticed was that all Japanese do NOT look alike. Similar? Oh, yes, very similar. But not alike. Like, I can tell Ruri from Mai from Nana. Same with the guys- they guys were VERY varied as far as appearances go. With all the anime I’ve watched, I still half expected them to be tall, handsome/pretty, and with gorgeous smiles.

Psh- I wish!

There is ONE guy in my class who was a TOTAL bishonen, named Rin. He has realy wide eyes, and a round, delicate-looking face. He always looks innocent and suprised, it’s adorable!

I was also told by the girls how they wished they had my "figure". One girl tried telling me this in English.

Girl: Yoo habu such a nice boh-dee. I want it.

Boy: I want it, too.

Me: Uhhhhh….Okay.

class: OKAY! *cheer*

Me: Hehehe….heeeeh….

We had one more class after that, then lunch. My bento was REALLY good. I ate with Sukiko and about 5 girls from my class. I was asked more about America, and EVERYONE that passed complimented me on how "skilled" I was at using chopsticks.

One girl asked me why I learned so much about Japan, and wanted to travel there so badly. It took me a while to think up a good response to that. Whenever I was asked that at home, I could say, "I like what I like- leave me alone about it." But to be asked that by a real Japanese made me stop and think for a second. Finally, with all of the girls starting at me-

I smiled and shrugged, giving a little, "Heh," for an answer.

Some boys who were watching DIED laughing, and even some of the girls smiled.

I had a LOT of rice in my bento, as well as snap beans and some other vegetables, and some kind of minced-meat and scrambled egg thing, too. It was suprisingly good, and I even got to go down to the school store to buy a Ramune. It tastes like Sprite.

I was stared at a LOT when I went down there. I could even see that the student working behind the counter wasn’t sure if he should try to serve me , or find someone who vould speak english. I jsut went ahead and said nice and clear, "One, Ramune for me, please," and handed him the money. He gave it to me, and I thanked him and walked back to my classroom. On the way, I passed by a group of guys- I still wanted to laugh when I saw them in gakuran, it’s so dated!- and one of them leaned over and said, "Herro, little Amerikan girrrl!"

I just smiled and waved back at him, and kept going to class.

Oh- gotta go to school again. I’ll write more later

Thank you all for your comments!

One day, to indulge my interest in performance cars I was doing a Google search on Tokyo and Skylines and I stumbled onto a site. This site was run by a guy living outside of Tokyo with a Nissan Skyline, and he was talking about this place called ¡ÈDaikoku Futou¡É. Apparently it was a highway rest stop mainly designed for trucks until a couple of years ago, when suddenly it became the ¡Èunderground¡É place to show off your performance car, and get together with your petrol-headed friends. This guy was writing about some crazy experiences he had there, and about all the amazing cars on display. I quickly made up my mind to see this place for myself. Unfortunately, Daikoku Futou apparently only got crowded quite late at night, around 12 or 1. The schedule wasn¡Çt fixed either – it happened sometimes Friday, sometimes Saturday, but sometimes no-one even showed up. Apparently, the police often showed up as well and shooed everyone away. Sounds a bit risky, but oh well, I thought, I¡Çll just go and try my luck.

I stumbled back to the car, and sat down with my girlfriend. We looked at each other, and wondered together how close we just came to death and imprisonment. A heavy silence hung between us, one of many silences we shared that day. After a few minutes of starting at each other, I cracked a smile, and snorted a laugh. She broke too, and started laughing. We shared a feeling of shock, relief, adrenaline, excitement. We laughed together, and felt alive.

reddit_url=’http://firefly.yourjapan.jp/post/2/285′

Well, I’m here.

That’s right. Pandora- one of the unluckiest girls of the century- is actually IN Japan. It’s about 6am here, Monday, Feb. 26.

Of course, back home, it’s around 2 in the afternoon. Yesterday.

This time change has me ALL screwed up. I have NOT been able to sleep. And I have to be at school in about two hours.

Okay- to backtrack, my flight wasn’t that bad. I get REALLY REALLY flight-nervous. Even just the smallest bit of turbulance makes me dig my nails into my armrest like it just insulted my new shoes. So, I took a relaxer before I got on, and I was knocked out before we even took OFF. I slept for a solid 12 hours, and by the time I woke up, I had already missed the food trolley. Damnit. Now I was awake- and STARVING. All the lights were off and the shades were drawn. A few people still had their overhead book-lights on, but almost everyone else was asleep.I was in all the way on the left side of the plane, in the window seat, there was no one in the middle seat, but there was someone sitting in the aisle seat. I lean over. One of the guys in my program. He was asleep, too. I poke my head above the seats, trying to see if I can flag down an airline stewardess, and see if I can still get some food. Damn- the seatbelt has me trapped. I unbuckle my seatbelt, and use the back of the chair as leverage to push myself up so I can look down the aisles better.

Big mistake.

The back of the seat JERKS back unexpectedly, and I lose my balance, successfully launching myself forward into the guy in the aisle seat. My chin hit his shoulder pretty hard, and he woke up like a shot.

Him: HUH?! WHA?! WHAS GOIN ONN MEHARE Where..huh…?

Me: Uhhhhhh….S-Sorry….

Guy In the Row Behind Us: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me: *whispers* Sorry.

I slowly crawled back in my seat, realizing that there was no WAY I was getting food now. As that thought popped into my head, my stomach growled on cue. Damnit.

The other guy in my row, now fully awake, stretched and asked me if I was okay.

Me: Yeah- only my pride is bruised

He laughed, and said that if I needed to get out of the aisle, there were easier ways of waking him up.

We talked a little more. His name is James. He’s from Virginia. He’s been on other study abroad programs before, so I took the opprotunity to ask him for some tips, but he said it was his first time going to Asia, and that he couldn’t really help me. He said he was just as nervous as I was. I doubt it. He’s really nice- he’s staying in a Kyoto prefecture, while I’m a Tokyo prefecture.

I tried getting some more sleep, but I really couldn’t sleep anymore, so I got out my iPod and just listened to my Japanese podcasts on repeat, trying to absorb the last bit of information I could before we arrived. Y’all will get to know that I’m a total over-acheiver when it comes to my intrests. If I put my mind to something, I will dive in head first and keep going until my last shuddering breath to get whatever I want. Drastic, I know. My stubborness has already gotten me into trouble more than once. But I figured that listening to some practice Japanese while I still has the chance was a good thing to do.

As we got closer, I was checking the time every couple of minutes.

49 minutes until we land….

I hope I packed everything. I was able to fit everything into two suitcases and one carry-on, like they said, but do I really have everything I need? I even managed to squeeze in some pralines, cafe du monde beniet mix, and Mardi Gras beads in at the last minute as gifts for the family. What time is it?

32 minutes until we land

Let me go over this again, see if I remember it all. There’s a husband, wife, and three kids. Sukiko is seventeen, and her birthday is in April. Blood type A. She has two little brothers, Fujiomo and Youto. Fujiomi’s birthday is in April, too, also blood type A. You’s birthday is in December, blood type O. Sukiko and her mom like kabuki, and Fujiomi likes soccer….Or did Youto like soccer? Wasn’t there something else? Oh, jesus- where’s the info packet again…?

23 miunutes until we land

Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Pandora desu. Doozo yoroshiku.

19 minutes until we land

WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE STILL ASLEEP??? We are about to enter JAPAN here, people! WAKE UP!

Yeah- I was flipping out.

James, somewhat sensing my psychotic mood, woke up and talked to me a bit to calm me down. The pilot clicked on and said, "Welcome to Japan, everybody. It is now 9:15 am here in Tokyo, so feel free to reset your watches. We will be landing shortly in Narita International Ariport within a few minutes, so please buckle your seatbelts and prepare for landing."

Trying my HARDEST not to hyperventilate, I was glued to my little 6"x8" window, looking down at everything I could see. It was nice and bright, and I could barely make out cars and buildings as we passed through a few clouds.

We landed, and all the kids along with me in my group said goodbye to each other. I had told a few of them about yourjapan.jp. Maybe some of then will start a blog, too. I hugged James and thanked him for being so nice to me, and we left the aircraft.

Japanese-ness. That’s the only way to describe what I saw and felt as I walked down the little ramp and entered my gate. Pure, untainted, Japanese-ness. I got to see a few of my travel buddies meet their host families, and it was pretty funny. One girl, Sara, was obviously not sure about what to do to greet them. She found them, and they bowed to her right as she went to shake their hand. The mom, a bit taken aback, stood up striaght again and tried to shake Sara’s hand- while Sara bowed.

I kinda laughed. It was funny to watch for a few minutes while they did their little Bow/Shake Hands Tango, until they finally just met int the middle, and shook hands while they bowed.

Huh, I thought, I hope my meeting with my new family goes a bit smoother than that. Now where are they…?

I walked a bit around the gate area, realizing that I could just about look over the heads of everyone else in the room. There were Japanese sitting in the chairs all along the wall, sitting on the benches, milling around in the hall. Any of them could be my host family!

>WHAM!<

As I turned around again, about to walk back to the gate desk, something small but powerful collided into my entire right side, knocking me completely off balance and making me drop my heavy carry-on. I stumbled back, clutching a nearby bench for support. The people sitting on the bench didn’t even flinch.

I look down- and I have a Japanese person clinging to my right side, crushing my ribs.

Uh. Okay. NOT prepared for this.

I got my balance, and kind of patted the person’s head. "Uh…hello? Hi there- are you okay?" I asked.

The person- a girl I saw- stood up and smiled grabbing ym hand and jumping up and down with it.

"It’s you, it’s you, it’s you, it’s YOU!" She squealed, smiling.

"Uh, yes. Yes it is. It’s me." I still have NO clue what just happened, and I’m finding it very painful to breathe.

"What is wrong?" She asks me, "Do you not give hugs in greeting in America?"

That wasn’t a HUG, that was a flying tackle! But, finally, it clicks. "Oh- SUKIKO!!"

I smiled and she smiled back. "Pandora!" Then she tried her English on me, "Wee ah so grad to habu yoo heeah. Werucom toooo….ano… Jyapan!"

I smiled and said in English, "Thank you. It is good to be here."

Her response was, "Oh- your English is so good!"

Yeah. I know.

I met her parents, who bowed to me, and gave me a present. It was in a green box, and I took it and thanked them for it. I told them I had gifts for them, too, but they were in my luggage.

The mom- who’s REALLY nice- said in perfect English, "How thoughtful of you. Why don’t we go back home to open them? Fujiomi and Youto are waiting there to meet you."

Sukiko told me later that her mom worked as a receptionist at a law firm before she got married, and she learned English there. That’ll probably come in handy a lot later on, I thought.

We got into Sukiko’s dad’s car, which was a pretty nice one, and at first I was confused as to why the mom got in the back seat. Then I remembered that the place of honor was in the back seat, behind the driver, and I felt better. I didn’t want the mom to be pushed to the back or anything. That’s not cool.

But the WEIRDEST sensation overtook me when he started driving. I was in the passenger seat- which was on the left. I was NOT used to that at ALL. While I made small talk with the family, I thought instead about how it felt to drive on the left side of the road.The streets were crammed full, and it seemed like NO ONE knew how to drive. I seriously saw a taxi cab drive over a curb as it turned the corner, then start backing up into traffic.

"Oh," Sukiko’s dad said, "He must have turned the wrong way. See? He’s going the other way now."

What I was really impressed with, though, was at the lack of impatience the other drivers had. Sure, they drove like maniacs, but when they were stuck in the traffic jam, that was just fine by them, too.

I also took the chance to look around. We passed through some really busy parts of town, and I watched all the people walking in the sidewalk, and looked at all the store fronts and restraunts. Japanese. EVERYWHERE.

Awesome.

After we got off the main crazy road, we turned down a million little side streets. I tried to remember the way we came as best as I could, but that didn’t last long. Left, left, right, straight, left fork, left, another left, right….WHERE THE HELL ARE WE??

All the houses were really built up, with shrubs and fences blocking them from view from the street. Their house was similar, and Sukiko’s dad parked on the street and we went inside.

"You finally get to meet my little brothers!" Sukiko said, taking my bag and carrying it in. We went through the entranceway, and I took off my sneakers with them and left them there.

"We’re home!" Sukiko and her mom said loudly.

"Welcome home!" I heard someone chant back. But wait…That voice sounds a little off. Who else is here?

As I walked in from the entranceway, a guy came into the hallway, shutting a door behind him. He was older- he looked about a year or so older than me, with really wide eyes and spiky black hair. He and I looked at each other. Who’s this? The baby sitter? A cousin?

"Pandora, Pandora!" Sukiko said happily, walking over to the guy and grabbing his arm, "Meet my little brother, Fujiomi!"

Wait…..

WHAT?!

"Uh…Hi…" I rembered my manners, and I bowed, rattling off, "Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Pandora desu. Doo-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He said, walking down the hall, "Hey, Mom! I’m gonna go out now, okay?"

I stood up straight, and he kept walking down the hall, going into one of the rooms.

What in holy hell just happened?! Did I just get BLOWN OFF?

I was speechless. What happened to the famous Japanese manners?!

"Here- we’ll go to my room now, and you can show me all of your American things." Sukiko said, taking one of my suitcases and carrying it down the hall. I followed her, and there saw a narrow staircase to the right. I followed her up it, into another hallway, and her room was on the left. She has really nice room. It’s eight tatami mats in size (or so she told me. I don’t really know- it’s all carpeted), and it’s a total girl’s room. She said she wished she had a Western bed, but her mom wouldn’t allow it. Other than that, she has a normal closet with white doors, purple curtains on her window, and posters of rock stars on the walls. She helped me unpack, putting my things in one at a time into a drawer she cleared out for me. She was fascinated by every shirt, skirt, and pair of pants we pulled out, wanting to know what the slogans said, what company made them, and when I bought them. She especially liked my shoes and high heels, and she had fun looking at my makeup. I gave her a copy of Seventeen magazine for her present like she asked for, and I thought she was going to cry with joy.

I told her I wanted to give my gifts to the rest of the family, too, but she said to wait until dinner, when everybody would be around. She said that since it was a Saturday, everyone would be coming and going in and out of the house.

I met Youto when we were unpacking. He’s a nice kid. He’s eight years old, and REALLY smart. He like the praline I gave him, and he sat with us while Sukiko and I talked and unpacked.

"Fujiomi really suprised me back there," I said after Youto left, "The information paper said he was your little brother, but he looks like your big brother!"

Sukiko told me that he WAS her little brother. She started to explain, but the Japanese was too advanced for me, so she slowed down and put it into simple terms. She and Fujiomi were born at the same time. She was born first. He was born second. He was born 4 minutes after shewas born, so she is his older sister.

Ah- twins! But wait- multiple births are REALLY uncommon in Japan. I asked her about this, wondering if maybe having twins runs in her family. She thought about how to explain it for a second, then said, "Mom and Dad tried for a long time to have babies, but it did not happen. They saw the doctor, who helped Mom. He gave her two babies, and Mom was happy. Mom had two babies to love!"

Oh, okay. I was kind of embarassed that I pried, but Sukiko said it was okay. She said it was nice- having a younger brother to boss around, but he was strong enough to act like an older brother sometimes.

Around noon, she and I went out,a nd I rode the train for the frist time. Holy HELL that was an experience, but I’ll have to write about that another time (as well as finish my story about the Dir en grey concert).

Right now- I only have about half an hour before I have to leave for school. I’m in Sukiko’s room while she’s in the bathroom..or do I call it the toilet? I dunno. They have a small sink and cabinet in the room that leads into the room with the toilet, so I’m not sure what to call it. The bath is all the way on the other side of the house, so I think that’s officially the "bathroom"….

Anyway- I’m wearing their uniform and it’s….unsettling, at best.

It’s a white sailor-blouse, with navy blue trim lines on the collar and sleeves, a blue "tie" that kinda snaps on the front, and a navy blue skirt. Um- I’m not realy sure how to describe this- but it’s like a bad cosplay. Also (I re-dyed my hair before I came here), it makes my hair look EIGHTY MILLION TIMES REDDER against the white and the blue. Like, GLARINGLY copper-red.

The blouse and skirt were ordered separately, according to my waist and bust size. Now- I have a relatively small waist in relation to my…rather generous bust size. But I STILL don’t know why they gave me a super small skirt and a circus tent-sized top. Sukiko told me the blouse was supposed to be "breezy" and "loose" but this is beyond the pale. First of all, I can’t bend over without the blouse falling forward and showing my bra. Also- considering that I’m about five inches taller than Japanese girls, this skirt is PEVERTEDLY short. Sukiko’s is sporty/athletic short, just about an inch or two above her knees. Mine is "come and get it, boys," short, about four inches below my ass. It’s also uncomfortably tight around my waist- I thin I may have gained a little weight between the time I ordered the skirt and now.

Damnit. Sukiko said that once I tuck the blouse in, it’ll feel better. At least I don’t have to wear knee socks. Sukiko said that a lot of girls do, what with the "loose sock craze", but that it wasn’t mandatory. w00t.

Well- I have to go now. We have to walk down to the train station and ride it to school, and I don’t want to be late my first day.

Wish me luck!

10:45 am. I sat on the floor in the middle of my apartment in Tokyo, listening to the crickets chirping. I shifted uncomfortably. The neighborhood seemed strangely quiet. I dimly realised this was because almost everyone was at work, being productive, contributing to society, helping clients, getting paid….. A fly buzzed around the room. I frowned at it, and at myself. I needed some external input.

I walked out of my little guest house. There was a public phone outside a shopping center that I occasionally used to call overseas. The first time I made an overseas call, it took me 10 minutes to figure it out. It’s surprisingly difficult. First you have to put in money, then dial. I was fine up to this point. Next was the number to access an overseas call. I went through every permutation of 00, 0011, 001, 01, 0001, 00011. None worked. It just kept spitting back out my 100 yen coin, as if it was mocking me. "I don’t want your stinkin money, gaijin." I kept going until a kindly old man noticed my frustration, and walked over.

"Phone ok?" They asked.

"Phone no ok!! Phone no ring. FUCK." I said.

"Ah. This phone no ring to oversea. It only Japan phone." He said kindly. He pointed at a small sticker, where I could only understand the word "Japan" in kanji, and nothing else.

He gestured me over and showed me a different phone. "This phone ok. Have good day!" He said warmly. I thanked him many times, and spent another 3 minutes messing about with the international dialing codes. Finally made that call, by the way.

I entered the small, odd smelling booth, and picked up the handset. By Australian standards, the handset was impeccably clean. By Japanese standards it was pretty dirty. I spared a second to wonder how I would fit again into Australian society. It’s only been a few weeks over here, but I’m already taking many of Japan’s comforts for granted. I dialed home.

"Hello?" came a voice.

"Hi Dad." I said.

"Oh hello there. How are you going? Is everything alright? Did you get the job? Do you have enough money to eat?" He asked in succession.

I cleared my throat. "Actually, well, I’m fine. I got a job offer, but it was pretty low. Lower than I would need to survive and do what I’m here for."

"Your kung fu stuff?" Dad asked.

"Kung fu is Chinese, Dad. So I’m feeling a bit drained right now. I feel like I’ve run a marathon, I’m absolutely exhausted, I’m running on zero, but the finish line is two steps away. I also feel like theres a guy waiting to kick me in the balls once I finally cross the line. Actually he’d kick me in the balls every month on pay-day." I lamented.

I imagined my Dad nodding his head, and reflecting on my problem.

"Well… theres no reason why you couldn’t get another job offer," My Dad began.

"Thats impossible," I complained, missing the point entirely. "Don’t you remember I told you about all of the interviews I went to?"

"Yes, but theres no reason that one of those companies can’t call you out of the blue and offer you a generous package. It sounds like these guys are taking the piss anyway with this low offer." Dad said.

I paused for a second while his words sunk in.

"You’re telling me to lie to them? And possibly mess up my only chance of getting a job?" I shot.

"I didn’t tell you to do anything. It’s just a possible thing you might decide to say." He returned.

My eyebrows furrowed with stress. That would be a risky proposition. At any point, these guys could withdraw their offer, and I’d be completely out in the cold. And on the fast track back to Australia. Argh. What to do.

"I don’t know Dad… I’m not sure I could do that." I said, depressed.

"Well best of luck either way mate. Let me know if you need a lift from the airport." He offered.

"Thanks… but I’m hoping I won’t need a lift from the airport for a while. Talk to you soon. Bye, Dad." I hung up the phone, deep in thought.

Frankly, I’m a pretty bad liar. I’m by nature an honest person, and it’s hard for me to look someone in the eye, and tell them something I know is false.

"But, they did try to mess me around with this low offer…. " the little devil Firefly sitting on my left shoulder said.

"Thats not an excuse to lie. Besides, what if you piss them off and they withdraw their offer? Then we could be really screwed." The little Firefly clad in white sagely whispered in my ear.

As often happens, the little devil Firefly hopped over to my other shoulder, wound up, and unceremoniously drop kicked angel Firefly.

"Time to make the call." The devil Firefly instructed.

I sighed and picked up the phone. I put in my card, and dialed the office number from memory. I asked to speak to Shane.

"uuhhh, hello?" Shanes voice.

"Hi, this is Firefly."

"Oh, yes, hello. Have you thought about the offer?" Shane asked, somewhat nervously. ("See? He knows its a low-ball offer. He’s nervous. Stick it to them." The devil Firefly whispered venomously.)

"Yes, I have, I’m very grateful and I’d like to accept it…."

"Oh, thats great," Shane said excitedly.

"However," I continued, "I’d like to discuss some things in a bit more detail."

"Oh. Really?" Shane deflated. "What kind of things?"

"The package, the job, the responsibilities, those kind of things. Can I arrange for a meeting with you and Bill?" I asked.

"Hang on a minute." Shane put me on hold.

I waited for 3 or 4 minutes. Irritation bubbled up again. I relaxed as best as possible. Just as I was wondering how long I’d be waiting this time, Shane returned.

"Tell you what, we’re excited that you’re joining, so we want to take you out to dinner to celebrate." Shane said.

"Thats great, but I do want to discuss things before signing a contract. If we can have a discussion at dinner, it would be great to join you." I said.

"Uhhhh, sure I guess thats no problem. Uhhh, sure." Shane coughed nervously. "So, lets meet at Shibuya at 7. We’ll take you to a nice Italian restaurant."

"Great. I look forward to seeing you there." I hung up.

My suspicions were confirmed - it was a lowball offer, and now they’re going to try to butter me up at a nice restaurant. We’ll see about that.

I arrived at Shibuya at 7pm to be met by Shane and Bill at the station. They warmly greeted me and shook my hand, and then slapped me on the back in a friendly way as we took off towards the restaurant. They were laughing, smiling, joking and happy. I joked along, but I wasn’t buying it.

We got to the restaurant and sat down at a nice table. They ordered a meal for me. I glimpsed the price : it was a 3,800 yen set meal. Recently, to save money, I’d been eating 5 riceballs a day, costing about 150 yen each. I was eating through 750 yen in one day, and they just ordered me one meal worth 5 days of food. I pushed the menu away from me.

After eating, and laughing some more, Bill stopped, and stared right at me. There was a very noticable shift from friendly and warm, to all business. "So." Bill began somewhat coldly. "I believe you had a question about the package."

Shane and Bill both became silent, and stared at me. I think I would have been very intimidated if I didn’t know what was going on. There was silence, during which time I was supposed to feel uncomfortable. I didn’t.

"Right. I wanted to let you know that I have received another offer from a different company." I said, slowly.

A look of surprise flashed across Shane and Bill’s face. It was gone quickly from Bill’s face. It lingered a moment longer on Shane’s. (Yeah, thats right, bitches, the devil Firefly helpfully added.)

"They’ve offered me 400,000 yen. Actually."

Bill chewed his teeth. His mouth turned into a scowl.

"Alright. And?" Bill said, coldly and aggressively.

Time to get this pointing in the direction I want, I thought.

"Well actually, I’ve had a chance to work with you, and see your office and the kind of people you have working there." (And there is a hot secretary, devil Firefly pointed out.) "And I really like what I see. I like the people there, and you seem to be doing interesting work, at interesting clients. I could really get into that kind of work."

Shane and Bill looked at me suspiciously. Fuck. I began lightly sweating.

"This other company is a much larger and more established company." I coughed, nervously. "Um, the other company offering me the job, I mean. They’re bigger. And, probably um, they’re also, um," I started to trail off. Uhoh. Bring it together.

I mentally slapped myself. My life in Japan from this point forward depends on the next thing to come out of my mouth.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…." I said.

They both stared flatly at me. Very flatly.

"So I would be very keen to find some kind of arrangement where I could feel comfortable at your company. I came to Japan to do martial arts, and it would be very difficult for me to live in Japan, which has a much higher cost of living, and participate in my classes on the package on offer. So for that reason alone, I would really be forced to accept the offer from the other company."

Bill continued to stare at me. He knows I’m lying. I held back a gulp.

"I really like small companies." I said, suddenly inspired. "The variety of work and having various interesting responsibilities is very exciting for me. If we could work out some kind of deal that would allow me to do what I came for in Japan, I would much prefer to make a big difference in a small company, than be a cog in the wheel of a larger company."

Shane looked at Bill, and then suddenly raised his hands in a "surrender" motion. "Your call." Shane withdrew.

Bill raised an eyebrow. I stole a look at my meal - the equivalent to 5 days of food, and I smiled nervously.

It felt like an eternity, as Bill eyes burned into mine, searching out any hint of a fallacy. I returned his gaze as best as I could, but I could feel myself losing it. I had a sudden impulse to leave, before I was found out. The muscles in my legs tensed up, ready to walk right out the door, and out of Japan.

"400,000 yen?" Bill said. "Thats a bit much."

"Yes, I was surprised as well," I lied.

Bill opened his mouth, and said…..

Natural, unchangeable physical characteristics matter least, provided you look somewhat normal.

Appearance including clothes and hairstyle does matter, but it matters less and less the better you get at attracting women on a visceral level.

Objection 1: "But I made big gains just by getting better clothes."

Response: When your attraction skills are weak, improving your appearance will net you big gains. So by all means, improve what is easy and cheap to improve right now. It will make you feel better about yourself anyway, which will show through in your confidence, making you more attractive on a visceral level as well.

Do not, however, get bogged down in the appearance game. The fundamentals of attracting women have nothing to do with appearance, and all the frivolities can easily distract you. If working on your appearance in any way detracts from your focus on the fundamentals, you’ve gone too far.

While you’re developing your fundamental attraction skills, spend some time and money on improving your appearance as well. Just don’t let it get in the way. The big strides toward success with women all come from changes in your attitude, understandings, and attraction skills.

Objection 2: "A chick mentioned my fashion when I asked her why she liked me."

Girls will comment on whatever they can when asked such a question. When they are really attracted to you, the fact is they simply will not know the reasons why, whether they think they know or not. Appearance can tip the scales for you when your attraction program fails to really spark a chick’s interest and she’s sitting on the fence about you.

Yes, that extra little push is highly useful at those times, but you also have to realize that the fact that appearance tipped the scales in your favor is a strong sign your attraction skills need work. Too many guys walk away from experiences like that thinking that appearance is much more important than they thought, when the real lesson is that the basic attraction game is what needs improving.

Objection 3: "Better appearance helps you get a foot in the door. Some girls won’t even give you the time of day if you don’t meet their visual standards."

That’s true in some cases, but it only figures prominently if you lack persistence. In the case of Japanese girls, provided you look somewhat decent and not scary, the only reason they might not give you the time of day would be related to your not being Japanese and her being afraid of how she would communicate with you. Since this can be overcome by persistence in 30 seconds or less, it’s not much of an issue.

This is just another case where appearance matters A LOT…IF you are missing some of the fundamentals. Persistence in the approach is one of these fundamentals. You can either spend a lot of time and money on your appearance or simply grow some balls and persist in the approach. Most guys would still choose the first option. The real way to go is to work on your appearance AND grow some balls. You actually don’t need that big of balls anyway, once you understand the principles at work. It is actually not a scary thing once you are in there doing it.

In conclusion, don’t forego your appearance, but also don’t fall into the illusion that it will make or break you, because if that is your experience then you could be making much greater progress working on basic skills instead. These basic skills are the main topic of this blog.

Q: So, everyone tells me to "just be myself". I’ve been myself foryears, and I still don’t have a girlfriend. What’s going on?

A:People who tell you to "just be yourself" often have your bestinterests at heart. A lot of the time, these advice-givers are hotchicks, who won’t fuck you, but think you’re a ‘wonderful friend’, andthey’re very sure that ‘you’ll eventually find a wonderful girl, andshe’s going to be so lucky to have a guy like you, since you’re such anice guy!’.

This, as you may have noticed, is bullshit. Thekey point here is that she is not interested in you romantically. Youwere ‘yourself’, and she’s just not interested. The definition ofinsanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Foryou to get better results, it only stands to reason that you’re goingto need to change some of your behaviors.

NOW - the ideas is not to "just be yourself", but be your BEST self.

Q: Well alright… how do I be my best self?

Ittakes time and conscious effort, and you have to make a change withinyourself. Many guys who are now very successful with women were oncevery shy, or not confident, or downright un-attractive. I’m nottalking about looks either - attraction for a woman has very little todo with looks.

Q: Looks don’t matter?

A: Of course looks are a part of the package, but a small part in comparison to other, more important features.

Q: Ok, lets say I believe you, and looks don’t matter. How do I get results?

A:You need to commit to changing your personality to becoming a betterman, who is naturally more attractive to women. One good way to startis by using some of the tips on this blog to improve your game andstart meeting some more girls. If you push your envelope and workhard, you will get results. If you keep pushing, you’ll eventually hitthe snowball factor, and your confidence and success will add to yourconfidence and success, and this again will naturally improve yourattractiveness to women.

Q: But hang on, if I use these tips, won’t girls see through it? They’ll dump me on the spot.

A:It’s not a matter of them seeing through it. Girls are on the lookoutfor sex just as much as you are. The difference is most guys arelooking for a girl who will let them have sex, whereas girls arelooking for a guy who can put them in the mood and lead them to sexwithout making it awkward. That’s it. She’s not going to "dump" you forANYTHING as long as it contributes toward those goals. (And if youchoose to get in a committed relationship later, it’s what you do after that point that determines if you stay together.)

Q: Don’t looks, money and status come into this?!

A:If you can put any girl in the mood and lead her smoothly to sexwithout looks, money, or status, you can have sex with her. Sure looks,money, and status can help put women in the mood, but they are notnecessary. Mostly these things help you simply get close to herinitially, or get a free pass to a venue where you can meet her moreeasily.

Q: So how do I put girls in the mood? How do I lead them smoothly to sex?

A:These are exactly the things this blog aims to teach, with focus onJapan. Every post deals with one or both of these inter-relatedsubjects.

Q: How do I know this isn’t all bullshit?! There is so much advice out there already.

A: Two ways:

1) Reflect on your own experience. Much of the stuff in this blog is at leastpartially self-evident when you reflect back on your interactions withwomen in your life so far. Just because I say something…don’t take my word for it!

Think– think back to times when you couldn’t figure out why a girl got witha guy, or things that still puzzle you about a girl you wanted longago. What I offer is less like advice, more likesolutions to puzzling questions. After you get the solutions it’s nothard to check them against your own experience and see that they doindeed solve the puzzle, or at least shed more light on it. Advicegiven by girls or by guys who don’t get laid is the type that mystifiesthings. My advice should clarify things for you very quickly.

2) Try it out. Some thingswon’t make sense from the standpoint of your experience, so you justhave to try them or choose to ignore them. For example, try my rail cardmaneuver and see what happens. See how the girl reacts differently thanyou expected. Or maybe you find out it doesn’t work for you and comeback here to get the fine-tuning needed to make it work.

Q: If this stuff really works, why would you be giving away the secrets for free? Isn’t this taking away potential lays from you?

A: For all intents and purposes, there are infinite hot babes in theworld. Furthermore, even if every guy in the world read my blog, mostwould be too lazy to apply what I teach. Finally, even if everyone usedthese ideas, all that would happen is people would be having a lot moresex and there would be a lot less frustrated guys.

I’m not looking to get more virgins, and I don’t mind if the guys thatcame before me used the same methods to get a girl I’m trying to getnow. It will only make it easier for me anyway, because there will be fewer surprises for her. Remember this is a cooperative effort between you and the girl.

Q: Do you really expect that rail pass thing to work twice!?

A: It’d probably work even better the second time. The girl, ratherthan being confused, would already know that this was a smooth way oftaking the burden of responsibility off her shoulders, and she wouldwelcome it that much more — recall that this tactic is to be used whenthe girl is already enjoying making out with you. Remember she wantsyou to lead her smoothly to sex. That’s what she is looking for. It’s a cooperative effort.

"Connection Successful. You may now share information between domains." My cursor wavered over the "Ok" button.

Bill and I both looked at each other. He blinked, and coughed. "Hmm. Not bad." He said suspiciously.

"Not bad?" I queried.

"Pretty good." He said.

I beamed.

After I managed to fix that problem, he set me a list of other tasks to do. I went around happily working through my tasks, with a really good feeling about what I just managed to do on the server. The kind of feeling you get when you just know that something good is coming your way.

As I was working through my list, I occasionally made an idiot out of myself by trying to communicate in Japanese. This particular company housed a number of very impatient and "strong willed" individuals, who in hindsight were not going to be the most appropriate Japanese teachers.

I went up to one office lady, swallowed, and dove in with my best Japanese.

"sumasen, chodo jiakan aru ka?" A best rough translation would be something like "sscuse me do you have just right time, huh?"

She looked at me. I looked back expectantly.

"What?" She said in hard English.

"Oh, um, I just wanted to know if you had some time, because, I need to look at your…" I replied in English.

"Was that Japanese?" She pointedly asked.

"Yeah. Well, um, it was supposed to be…" I started.

She cut me off again. "It was terrible." She said, her lip curling up slightly. "In the future, you should say ’sumimasen, chotto computer wo haiken shitemo yoroshii desu ka?’" Her clear polite Japanese bounced right off my head.

"Right! Thanks. Uhh…. sumiashen, uuhhhh," I desperately tried to copy her.

"Forget it, I don’t have time for this. Just get on the computer. And HURRY UP." She said, throwing down a file and walking off to presumably go make herself a coffee.

As concealed as possible, I peered around the office to see if anyone else witnessed my harsh Japanese lesson. Well, anyone who might report it back to Bill anyway. Everyones head was down, working busily. I guess I’m alright.

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief, which turned into a feeling of intense pressure as the office lady came back with her coffee and stood over me at the computer, clearly waiting for me to finish. She started tapping her foot.

"Um, chodo mati kudas sai" I said. (pleash waitashecond)

She exhaled through her teeth, and shook her head. I waited for my next Japanese lesson, but it appeared as though she’d given up already. I finished up my work and quickly moved on.

I noticed that I had worked through everything on the list. I looked at my watch, only 11:45, just before lunch. Great. I bet Bill will be happy everything was done so quickly.

I returned to the server room with my list of tasks, each one ticked off.

"Hi Bill, I finished all of my tasks." I said proudly as I handed him the sheet of paper.

He pulled his attention away from the server, and looked down at the paper. His face twisted up. "That was supposed to take you all day. Shit, why’d you finish it so quickly?"

"Oh, I, um, " I stammered, not having a good answer to the question.

"Hm. Don’t worry about it, I guess. Just go back and see if anyone is having problems and try to fix it." Bill pointed at the door.

I turned and walked out, feeling a bit depressed. That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, after completing a days work in an hour and a half. Hm.

I wandered around the floors, getting to know the office and the people that worked there. Without the pressure of having a list to go through, I talked to many more people who were much more friendly and warm than the initial user. I managed to fix many problems, made some friends along the way. Three people had offered to make me a cup of tea or coffee for the work I performed. "What a nice place," I thought to myself. "I could definitely spend more time here."

In that office in central Tokyo, being able to offer my skills to help fix problems for people was very satisfying and enjoyable for me in a way thats hard to explain. Maybe it was because I felt my karma bank balance growing - if I help enough people, surely I’ll get a job! Or maybe it was the feeling of somehow knowing I was on the right track. That at this point in my life, being there, and doing that work was EXACTLY what I was supposed to be doing.

In any case, I knew things were out of my hands now. I just had to be friendly, do the best work I could and let the chips fall where they may.

Soon, it was nearing 6:30pm, and things were winding up. I had gone around fixing many problems, and people were talking about me very positively. Bill even happened to come down while I was having a friendly chat to one of the company’s directors, as I fixed a problem that had been bugging him for weeks. All in all, a very good day. Bill called me over for a moment.

"Hey. I was watching you today. You did a pretty good job." He praised me.

I beamed again. "Thanks, Bill."

"So, do you want a job or something?" Bill asked, remarkably offhandedly.

I cocked my head slightly, the words not sinking in.

"A job. Do you want one?" He repeated, loudly.

"Yes, that would be nice." I politely smiled, and internally did a 20 step gymnastic routine.

"Ok. Why don’t you talk to Shane about the details. Drop by the office tomorrow morning." Bill said, turning away to collect his equipment.

I stood there. I could feel the whole world revolving around me. This was a major turning point in my life. Then I thought, actually hang on, what about salary? Benefits? Holidays? Hm, I mused. Maybe I’m not out of the woods just yet. I guess Shane will give me the details tomorrow

I collected my things and Bill gave me a lift to the station.

"You did a good job today. I’ll see you tomorrow." He said, as he dropped me off. I nodded, smiled, and walked down into the station.

On the trip back I was thinking in detail about the kind of salary and job I could expect. I came over to Japan to study Martial Arts - if I don’t have enough time and money to go to class, the whole thing is almost pointless. I frowned as I sat on the train. I’ll have to work everything out. I’ll need to make… a budget. How much will everything cost? How much will I need to survive?

I returned back home, and got out a notebook, and started listing everything that cost me money in Japan. How much would I need to pay my rent, go to martial arts, have a small amount of spending money, pay my mobile phone bill so my family can call me, buy some clothes, pay back my friends, buy enough food, essentially, how much would I need to scrape by and survive in Tokyo.

After calculating everything, I came up with a monthly figure. 314,000 yen per month.

I lied down on my futon and stretched out. I opened the window, and the warm Tokyo air spilled into my room. I went to sleep with the number 314,000 yen floating around my head.

I woke up the next day. The guy down the hall wouldn’t loan me his suit. Shit. I put on my best "casual" gear, hoping it wouldn’t matter since I’d already gotten a verbal job offer.

I made my way to the office. I walked through the door at 9:15 to give the 9am people a chance to settle in.

Shane came over to greet me, and I noticed his eyes squinting as he critically looked me up and down.

"No suit today?" He said.

"Uh, right. It’s in the wash." I lied.

Shane raised his eyebrows and led me to a small meeting room.

"I spoke to Bill last night, and we’re ready to make you an offer." Shane said with a smile.

My eyes widened slightly. "Thats very good news, " I said. 314,000 yen. 314,000 yen.

"Looking at your skill and experience, we’ve come to a number and a package we think is reasonable." Shane continued.

314,000 yen. Thats all I needed. Thats a very reasonable salary for a Foreign Tokyo IT worker. They’re an established company, I’m sure they’ll offer at least that. Just 314,000 yen.

"Your starting monthly salary will be… " Shane said. Time froze.

314,000 yen. 314,000 yen. 314,000 yen. 314,000 yen. 314,000 yen. 314,000 yen.

"270,000 yen." Shane said. The weight of his statement slammed into me, leaving me stunned.

Without at least 314,000 yen, there’s almost no point to being in Japan. I won’t be able to do what I came for, I sadly realised. I might even have to work extra hours. How can this be happening.

Shane looked at me, trying to gauge my response. "Does that seem reasonable?" He asked.

"Well, um, I very much appreciate the job offer," I sighed in disappointment, but tried to stay bright. "So that means that I’ll get 270,000 yen in my bank account every month, right?"

"Actually, after various taxes, the real number is probably closer to 240,000 yen." Shane said.

240,000 yen. What did I do to deserve this? I thought in emotional turmoil. That wasn’t even a fair offer. I had to pay 68,000 yen just in rent. Before I do anything, I’m down to 172,000 yen. Which doesn’t go very far in Tokyo at all.

I sat in silence for a moment. An intense feeling of sadness washed across my face. I bit my lip.

"Thank you very much for the offer. I’ll think about it, and let you know." I said, as I began to put on my jacket.

Shane looked surprised, as though he was expecting me to accept on the spot. "Sure. Have a think about it, and give me a call."

I nodded, smiled, and walked out of the office, feeling lost and alone.

I know that I’m posting rather frequently, but the honest to God truth is that I have absolutely nothing better to do with my time on the computer. Plus, I figure that once I arrive in Japan, I won’t have as much time for posting as I do now.

Even more Sugary Sweetness at school today. But, now I’m getting the feeling that the teachers are really the masterminds behind all of this. Since the students are getting all involved with Valentine’s Day, the teachers are reaping quite a few benefits themselves as all the brown-nosers give chocolates and gifts to teachers in an effort to raise their grades a few points. Also, since the students are busy working on construction paper hearts and lace doilies, they aren’t causing trouble by having a Sock-Skid contest on the newly polished marble floors of the foyer. (I won last week with 8′4". The big bruise on my ass? Totally worth it.)

I talked to Sukiko more last night. She said her little brother Fujiomi was pouting, because he didn’t want a stranger living with him. I felt kinda bad at first- I don’t wanna scare the kid. But now I can kinda see where he’s coming from. I mean, I think even now I’d be sorta wary about a foreigner I’d never met before moving into my house, living with my family, and going to school in my neighborhood. I think that once I get there, I can make a good impression and everything will be fine.

Sukiko showed me a picture of her boyfriend last night. I forgot his name, though. I think it was Hiroshi. Anyway, she sent it to me, and I said that he looked nice, and that she must be happy to have such a cute boyfriend. She typed back: "That is so nice for you to say. But he is not cute at all. I know this."

Wow. Wasn’t expecting that. It threw me for a bit there, considering that ALL DAY I am surrounded by girls who gush and swoon over their own guys, singing their praises and arguing over who has the best boyfriend.

I almost wish I could be in Japan for Valentine’s day, just to see what it’s really like in a Japanese school, but then I think I’d feel pressured into giving someone chocolate and that’s really not me. Plus, I don’t want to get caught in the middle of some Japanese schoolgirl power-struggle/ battle royale, as two girls fight to the death to give their chocolate to Otoko-kun first. Maybe it’s better that I’m flying in after it’s more settled down.

Bell rang- lunch is over. Back to Valentine’s Day Hell for me.

5 days, 7 hours, and 28 minutes until the Dir en Grey concert.

Next few hours.