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Okay- this is the second time I’m writing this. Negating the fact that PMS has hit me like a brick wall, and that I constantly feel like beating a small child to death just to make me feel better about myself, I went into a RAGE when my nice, long post- mere sentences away from being updated- just DIED on me. Yeah.

So, Sorry for not updating on Friday like I said I would, but a lot of other things happened that I wanted to include so here it is. You can all stop rioting in the streets now.

It all began on Thursday. Sukiko shook me awake around 6:30 and said something about Mai and that she was going to leave for school early. I was dead to the world and just agreed with what she said before immediately drifting back to sleep. Forty-five minutes later, I snap awake and look at the clock. I’m late. Shit- I’m only running ten minutes late, but I’m still pissed I got off to a late start. I bolt off the futon and grab my uniform. As I take off my night shorts, I see- blood. I turn back to check and, yes, I got blood on the futon, too.

Great, I thought, now they’re going to have to do some Shinto purifying ritual because I bled on their sheets. Just great.

It is at this moment that I realize my skirt doesn’t fit. Or, to be more specific, my water-weight has made the waistband of my skirt unbearably tight. I slip on bra- tender, swollen boobs, too?? GODAMMIT! I grab my bag and race out the door. One quick look around confirms my suspicion that Sukiko and Fujiomi are already gone. I’m going to have to go to school on my own, I guess.

It was cold and WAY too windy for my skirt, but I managed to get on the right train and speed walk to school, emanating enough Pissed Mist to keep people out of my way. I barely made it to school on time (and this is when I found out that they close the school gates when the bell rings! I could have gotten locked OUT of school!) and generally just hated the world. Fortunately, the teachers noticed my Intense Glare, and didn’t try to call on me or make me do anything. I guess when they’re faced with an EXTREMELY hormonal gaijin, they just don’t want to fuck with that.

At lunch, I told Sukiko what was going on, and she, Mai, and Nana all felt appropriately sympathetic. Nana even said something that made me laugh: “I didn’t even know Western girls HAD periods. The way the go around, all happy and smiling all the time, you’d think they didn’t have cycles at all.” I reassured her that wasn’t true.

On the way home, the four of us saw a group of touring foreigners get stopped by a policeman (we were across the street). They all started taking out their papers and passports to show him they were legal, and Sukiko told me that I was lucky I didn’t get stopped like that all the time. She asked me if I carried my passport with me just in case, and I said that I always carried it with me. I reached into my bag to show her, but something was wrong. I opened the flap of my leather bag all the way and looked inside. It wasn’t there.

“SHIT.” The English profanity echoed through the alleyways. Mai and Nana looked over at Sukiko, who hesitated.

Sukiko: We were planning to go out to do some karaoke tonight, but if you don’t have your passport, you really shouldn’t be walking around here. You could get in big trouble, and so could we. You’re going to have to go home right now to find it, Pandora-san.

She said that when I found it, to call her cell and she would give me directions to the karaoke place, but that really didn’t make me feel any better. However, given the circumstances, I agreed, and hauled ass back home. No one was home when I got there, so I had to hop the back gate and let myself in the back door. After a quick stop in the bathroom, I began searching the house. I looked on every tabletop, every inch of counter space, beneath furniture. I threw zabuton cushions in the air and went through every drawer. I especially tore apart the room Sukiko and I share. Bags, suitcases, and purses were dumped out onto the floor. Drawers were rifled through over and over, and I checked the pocket of every pair of pants, jeans, and jacket I owned.

Nothing.

Exhausted from my frenzied searching, I sat back on my knees in the middle of the room, and I cried. I cried because I was so far away from home, and I missed my family and friends. I cried because I missed going to my own school with my own uniforms and not having to worry about being an “outsider”. I cried because I was angry with myself, for losing something so important. I was so frustrated that I was so pathetic that I couldn’t even keep track of that ONE LITTLE THING. I cried so hard that I never even heard Fujiomi come home. The next thing I knew was that someone was knocking on the door really loudly, and I instantly held my breath, scared that I was going to get caught crying.

I turned my back on the door right as I heard the knob turn. I heard Fujiomi say, “Mom told me to give you your passport, but I didn’t know you would beat me home. Here you go.”

I tried my damndest to swallow the lump in my throat and get my voice back to normal, But I knew my lips were still red and my eyes were still wet and bloodshot, so I didn’t risk turning around. “Okay,” I told him, trying to sound natural, “Thanks.” I hoped and prayed with all my might that he would just put it on the dresser and walk away.

That’s when me must have noticed how DEMOLISHED the room was because he asked me in a really angry voice, “What’s wrong with the room? Did YOU do this??”

I couldn’t really think of a justifiable excuse, so I just muttered, “I was…looking for my…passport.” A sob escaped before I could stop it, and I sniffed. Just get out! Leave me alone!

He paused, then asked concerned, “Are you okay?”

Don’t cry, Don’t cry, Don’t cry, Don’t cry, Don’t cry, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PANDORA, do NOT start crying again!!! I focused all my efforts on keeping my tears down, to keep my breathing normal so that he would go away. That LAST thing I wanted was someone like HIM to catch me crying. I knew that he would only say something even more hurtful, and I was not able to deal with something like that.

That’s when he did something I NEVER would have expected.

And NO, you morons waiting for a “happy ending”. He didn’t kiss me.

I heard him shut the door before he walked over to me, and put his arm around my shoulders before asking gently “What’s the matter?”

I couldn’t form words. I had just gone through a monstrous temper tantrum that eventually led to me breaking down in tears, and now the boy that’s hated my very existence was comforting me. Hell must be freezing over. Besides, it actually made me want to cry even more. He gave my shoulders a squeeze and kept talking in that soft voice- the kind of voice a person uses to calm a crying two-year-old. “No need to be upset. I didn’t steal it. It’s right here. Mom needed the ID number off it for those forms, remember? Here-” He took my hand with his free one, and put the passport in it, and wrapped my fingers around it for me. “-stop crying okay? Don’t be mad at me.”

I sniffed and looked at my passport in my hands, ducking my head down on purpose so my bangs would hide my splotchy cheeks and runny nose. “You’re ALWAYS mad at me. Besides, I’m smart enough to know you didn’t steal it. I just forgot your mom had it, and I was upset because I thought I had lost it. That’s all.”

“Then why are you still crying?” Fujiomi tried to use his free hand to move my bangs out the way, but I pushed his hand away and took his arm from my shoulder. I didn’t know why I was still crying, but I was embarrassed about it, and I hated that he brought it up. I wiped my eyes and sniffed.

“I am NOT crying anymore. Just go away.”

He sighed and stood up. He walked towards the door, but just as I thought he’d walked out, a small pack of tissue sailed through the air and landed next to my knee. I heard him say, “I’m not always mad at you, Pandora.” and then he shut the door and left.

Jackass, I thought as I ripped out a tissue and blew my nose on it. That night passed by like normal. I called Sukiko after I calmed down, but she said that Nana had gotten in trouble, and that they weren’t going to do karaoke after all. She was going to walk Mai home and then come home herself. She and I did our homework, the family had dinner and bathed, and then we went to bed.

I remember laying in my futon, thinking about Fujiomi¡Çs question: Why are you still crying? To be honest, I didn¡Çt know. But I was surprised that Fujiomi was so nice. A large part of me wondered if he had just been mocking me, and I was worried he would tell all of his friends what a whiny baby I was. Sukiko shook me awake the next morning, and I actually woke up. She said that she needed to go help Mai at school again; I think Mai is some kind of student/teacher advocate thing, because she¡Çs always the one that makes copies for the teachers and takes stuff to the office and the teachers¡Ç room. Sukiko apologized for leaving me alone again, but I said it was okay and she left. I went ahead and got up and went through my usual morning routine.

((Side note: Sukiko told her mom what happened to the sheets, and she managed to get the blood right out. I¡Çm glad she didn¡Çt embarrass me by mentioning it, but I AM wondering what kind of super-cleaner got bloodstains like THAT out of white fabric. I¡Çm going to have to find out before I leave.))

I ran into Fujiomi on the way to the toilet, and he was already fully dressed.

¡ÈGoing to school?¡É I asked him, immediately feeling like an idiot for asking such a ¡ÈThere¡Çs-your-sign¡É-esque question. While I fully expected him to reply with, ¡ÈNo, I just like wearing the uniform.¡É Fujiomi just nodded and went down the hall. Silence again, I see.

I took my time getting cleaned up and dressed, and when I went into the kitchen I saw I still had about an extra twenty minutes. I¡Çm not usually a morning person, but I mildly contemplated fixing myself some breakfast before heading out- real breakfast, mind you, not fish and rice. While I warmed up a pan on the Barbie-sized stovetop, I heard the kitchen door open.

Me: Fujiomi? I thought you went to school.

Fujiomi: What are you cooking?

I frowned- he completely ignored my question, as usual.

Me: Breakfast.

And he just SAT at the table while I cooked, like nothing was unusual. I made myself some cheese-eggs, and shame on you if you don¡Çt know what those are. When I went to go get a plate, Fujiomi spoke up again and said, ¡ÈGet two plates.¡É I thought he was going to make himself breakfast, but instead, when I went to the table with my plate of eggs and his empty plate, he took MY plate, scraped half the eggs onto HIS plate, and proceeded to eat them.

Me: HEY! Those are my eggs!

Fujiomi: Actually, you¡Çre eating OUR food.

Me: But I cooked them!

Fujiomi: Yeah, and you didn¡Çt even do that right.

Me: Then don¡Çt eat them!

Fujiomi: Too late.

Sure enough, he had wolfed the whole plate down, and he stood up and said, ¡ÈLet¡Çs go.¡É I looked at the clock, took a few big bites of cheesy-egg goodness, then stood up, put the plates in the sink and followed him. We weren¡Çt even to the corner when he reached over and rubbed my cheek raw with the cuff of his sleeve. I was startled, to say the least.

Me: WHAT THE FU–!

Fujiomi: Settle down- you have shit all over your face and I was getting it off for you.

Me: Oh¡Ä

I wiped my face, and JUST as I was going to say thank you, he said: ¡ÈI would have died of embarrassment if anyone had seen you like that. I have a reputation to uphold.¡É

That pissed me off, but I didn¡Çt give him the satisfaction of answering back. We walked to the train station, and then to school, in silence. We split up when we entered the building, and he went off to talk to his friends while I went to my own class. The day started pretty normally. It was a Friday, so everyone was really happy that the weekend was coming up.

For my male audience, and my lucky female audience that have never had cramps, let me describe them to you. It¡Çs a very unique feeling, somewhat like having your stomach try to squeeze out through your bellybutton of it¡Çs own accord. The closest I can describe it, though, is being completely hung over, and having someone kick you in the nuts repeatedly and without warning. Some girls don¡Çt really get bad cramps. I, on the other hand, feel like I am giving birth to the anti-Christ.

My cramps hit me in the middle of my third class, and I am doubled over in pain. Even heavy breathing doesn¡Çt help, and I end up just waiting for the misery to be over. By the end of the class, the intense seizuring of my womb had ended, but it still ached like a bitch. The lunch bell rang, and as I sat down with Mai, Sukiko, and Nana, I saw that I had the wrong bento. See, Fujiomi doesn¡Çt like tempura ANYTHING, and I knew that Sukiko¡Çs mom had made us bento boxes with the leftover tempura shrimp from the night before. So when I saw a plain hamburger steak over rice, I knew what had happened. I excused myself, and went to go find Fujiomi. The halls were all crowded, so bumping into people made my stomach hurt again.

I finally found his classroom. He was standing at the front of the room, and a teacher was talking to him while the rest of the class ate lunch. Fujiomi had my bento in his hand, so I knew that he must have seen the mistake, too. I walked up to them slowly, and when the teacher saw me, he looked back at Fujiomi and said, ¡ÈDon¡Çt let it happen again.¡É Before walking out. Fujiomi looked kind of pissed when he turned around to find me there, so I hurried up and held out his bento for him.

Fujiomi: Yeah, I knew I must have grabbed yours.

Me: Did you get in trouble with the teacher for having the wrong one?

Fujiomi: Stupid. It was something else. None of your business. Just take your lunch and go eat.

I took a few steps closer to take my lunch, but I paused and asked:

Me: If it wasn¡Çt the lunches, then what was it?

My stomach began acting up again, and I tried not to wince. I wanted to get back to my own classroom and sit down so I wouldn¡Çt feel so bad, but I really wanted to know if I could help Fujiomi. I mean, he did comfort me before. Maybe I could help him in some way, too.

Fujiomi: None of your business.

A cramp made my insides clench sharply in pain, and I couldn¡Çt stop myself from clenching my teeth and putting a hand lightly on my stomach. I frowned, but didn¡Çt want to give up yet.

Me: Tell me.

Fujiomi looked at me and glared.

Fujiomi: What are you giving me that look for? Are you trying to start a fight or something? Just take your lunch and get OUT of here!

He was mad, and he swung the lunch box at me holding onto the handkerchief it was wrapped in. He must have misjudged the distance between us because the corner of that bento box hit me square in the stomach.

You wanna talk about pain? Mike Tyson hasn¡Çt got jack on me as far as THAT hit to the stomach. A whole rush of cramps was triggered, and I literally fell to my knees clutching my stomach. Let me tell you, THAT got the students¡Ç attention.

¡ÈHey, what happened to her?¡É

¡ÈIs she sick?¡É

¡ÈFujiomi, did you hit her?!¡É

I heard Fujiomi say something like, ¡ÈI didn¡Çt hit her THAT hard! Hey- Pandora, get up! Come on, stand up already! It didn¡Çt hurt that bad!¡É

DIDN¡ÇT HURT?!

I managed to stand up, still holding onto my stomach like I was afraid it was going to fall off, and I glared at him so fiercely that the room grew quiet.

Fujiomi looked like he shit a brick. I was trying to think of something I could say, something I could do to him that would make him understand JUST HOW PISSED I really was. Nothing came to mind, so I just stood up as straight as I could and walked away, past my own classroom, and into the girl¡Çs bathroom. The bento box didn¡Çt give me a bruise, but it did leave a red mark for the rest of the afternoon.

I got through my classes, and went ahead home and skipped my cleanup duty. I took a nice hot bath as soon as I got home and it really helped relax my muscles. Fujiomi didn¡Çt come home that night. He spent the night at a friend¡Çs house that night, and on Saturday night, too.

Was he avoiding me again?? Damn bastard.

He came back home on Sunday, but that¡Çs when I went out with Sukiko and the others to do karaoke, so I didn¡Çt see him all day. I talked with Sukiko about what happened, and she said she would talk to him for me and find out what was going on. Well, Sunday night she went with him to the corner store to pick up some things, but she came back alone. After she put the bags in the kitchen, she motioned for me to follow her down the hall. I went with her to her room, and she shut the door.

Sukiko: I talked to Fujiomi for you.

Me: Oh?

Sukiko: Yeah. Your being here has really affected him. Much more than I thought it would, anyway.

Me: So¡Ähe hates me.

Sukiko: No! No! Nothing like that. He is just protecting himself.

Me: What?

Sukiko: He felt really bad for hitting you with the bento box. When I explained that you were ill, he felt really guilty and was truly sorry. He did not know your stomach hurt.

Me: I just wanted to know why he had gotten in trouble. I didn¡Çt know he would be so mad.

Sukiko: Oh- that. He got in trouble with the teacher advisor for student council. Apparently there was a meeting this morning he was supposed to go to, but he skipped it. The advisor told him that he was not setting a good example for the students and not to let it happen again.

Me: A meeting? But he never forgets to go to student council meetings.

Sukiko: Exactly. He chose to stay here instead and miss the meeting.

Me: But why? He was dressed early enough to make it. Why did he just wait around?

Sukiko: He said that staying home and eating with you, and getting to walk you to school was more important. He said that he had not made enough effort to try to get to know you, so he missed his meeting to spend some more time with you.

Me:¡Ä¡ÄYou¡Çre joking, right?

Sukiko: No, I am not joking, and neither was he. I think that he sees now that his actions before were childish, and he wants to do the right thing. He just does not know how. And he does not want to admit to you, or to me, or to anyone that he does not know how.

Typical guy, I thought.

Me: Where is he now? He didn¡Çt come home with you.

Sukiko: He is in the park a few blocks away; He goes there sometimes alone to think. You should go to him now. Talk to him. He is much more relaxed, and I am sure he will be more responsive if you two are alone.

I hesitated, but finally agreed. This was my opportunity to get a few things out into the open, and maybe even if he and I couldn¡Çt be friends, we could at least agree to live peacefully together.

((Side Note: GOD this post is long! I just noticed it, but JESUS! This is way too much¡Ä))

I will be sure to update on Wednesday to tell you all what happened in the park, and about my time doing karaoke.

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