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Sukiko had just recommended that I go and walk to the park to talk to Fujiomi. I really couldn¡Çt think of a better alternative, so I went and got my jacket and headed outside. The park is really only two blocks away, but I must have been dragging my feet something fierce, because it took me an ETERNITY to get there. I admit, I wasn¡Çt too keen on talking to him, but I knew I had to. I really hoped that he would be willing to talk to me as well.

I got to the park- and be warned, in Japan, ¡Èparks¡É are just areas of free space with relatively short grass, maybe a swing or two, and a bench- but when I looked around, he wasn¡Çt there. A tree blocked the bench, so I thought that was probably where he was, and I started walking over. However, when I looked down at the grass to watch where I was stepping, a black form in the distance caught my eyes and I narrowed my vision, trying to make out what it was. I stopped walking, and leaned to the side, trying to make out the silhouette of whatever it was. A person? I¡Çd heard of the homeless and some travelers sleeping in parks when they had nowhere else to go (Az in Tokyo immediately popped into mind), but somehow that didn¡Çt really seem likely. This person was sprawled on the grass on his or her back, and looked unconscious. I took another nervous glace around. No one walking by. If this person were dangerous, there would be no one to help me. Immediately, I shook my head and sighed. Idiot- it¡Çs probably just Fujiomi. Stop thinking like an American. You know that there¡Çs way less crime here; just go over to him and say ¡ÈHey.¡É

I began walking over, but Fujiomi didn¡Çt move. I stopped maybe a yard from him, and called out his name. No answer.

I sighed. He¡Çs ignoring me again. I called his name out louder. Why doesn¡Çt he answer?

I looked at him and waited a few moments, thinking quickly. He¡Çs a light sleeper- he should have heard me. I walked over, saying his name twice before I knelt next to him, really afraid. His eyes were shut, and he still hadn¡Çt moved. I gripped his shoulders and shook him, practically screaming, ¡ÈFUJIOMIIIII!¡É

He BOLTED UP, nearly head-butting me, and looked at me like I was a lunatic. He pulled two small earphones from inside his ears and turned off his MP3 player, and looked at me in complete and utter shock- mouth open, eyes wide. He just stared at me, and I felt like an idiot. When he did speak, he asked just what I knew he would.

¡ÈWHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR??¡É

Me: I thought you had been mugged or you fainted or something.

Fujiomi: WHAT?!

Me: I called out your name, and you didn¡Çt respond, and you kept lying there even when I was right next to you!

Fujiomi: You didn¡Çt have to go and shake the fucking hell out of me, though! Jesus- I was lying here in peace, listening to my music, and next thing I know YOU¡ÇRE here- banging my shoulders into the ground repeatedly and screaming your head off. What do you WANT, anyway? Did you come out here just to try and scare me?

Me: NO. Don¡Çt flatter yourself. I came out here to, uhh¡Ä.Well, I think that you and I need to talk.

He looked at me like, ¡ÈYou MUST be kidding.¡É

Fujiomi: ¡ÈTalk¡É?

Me: Yes. We need to talk.

Fujiomi: And what if I don¡Çt WANT to talk to you?

He started to get up, but I grabbed his sleeve and jerked him back down.

Me: Then you will be PROVING to me that you really ARE the jackass you¡Çve been acting like for the past MONTH.

He didn¡Çt really respond, so I sighed and told him, ¡ÈLook, I am sorry if my being here has made you uncomfortable, or unhappy. I never meant for that. But stop being such an ASS about it, okay? I understand that I can¡Çt make everyone like me, and that includes you. I am really trying not to get in your way or bug you at school. But you always have some kind of put-down for me, and it¡Çs like you¡Çre deliberately trying to ruin my stay here. I don¡Çt care if you don¡Çt like me, but you we at least be civil to each other?¡É

I think that¡Çs more or less what I said, but I¡Çm not sure if it was quite the same in Japanese. In any case, he sighed, leaned forward, and started pulling up grass blades. Yeah. That¡Çs what he did. In complete silence, he sat Indian-style and began plucking blades of grass. I waited for an answer. Nothing. I looked around, not sure if I should keep waiting or go on back to the house. It was actually a fairly decent park- there were about two other benches, with a nice sized play set for kids. There were quite a few trees, too. The plum blossoms and cherry blossoms are just beginning to bloom openly, so hopefully we will get to go to a hanami this weekend. I was about to give up hope when he mumbled something and caught me off guard.

Me: What? Did you say something?

Fujiomi: I said, does your stomach still hurt? In the place where I hit you?

Me: Oh¡ÄUh, no, no- it¡Çs fine. You didn¡Çt hit me real hard, but I had a stomach ache at the time, so it hurt really bad.

Fujiomi: Onee-san told me. I¡Çm really sorry. I should have never hit you. If I had known that you were sick¡ÄYou were in pain, trying to talk to me. And I hit you. I made you feel even worse.

I felt bad for him. He was obviously really guilty about it. But- anything that I could have said, like ¡ÈIt wasn¡Çt your fault,¡É ¡ÈI shouldn¡Çt have bugged you,¡É ¡ÈDon¡Çt worry about it,¡É would have been a lie. So I agreed with him instead.

Me: ¡ÄYeah. You were a real asshole.

Him: That doesn¡Çt really make me feel any better, you know.

Me: I didn¡Çt come out here to make you feel better. It was your fault you hit me, and made my stomach worse. But the fact is that my stomach is better now, and I understand why you did what you did. I came out here because I want to know why you hate me, and if there is any way we can get along.

Him: I do NOT hate you! I already told you that.

Me: No, you said you don¡Çt ALWAYS hate me. Which means you hate me some of the time. So you still hate me.

Him: Well, I didn¡Çt mean it that way, okay? I don¡Çt hate you.

Me: Then what IS it?? Why do you always tease me, and make me feel bad, and tell me to go home?

Him: Because you SHOULD be home! You should be with your family, eating your own food and going to your own school and going out with your own friends. I know that you struggle with living here, and that you miss your own life. I couldn¡Çt imagine what possessed you to fly over here and try to live like us.

Me: Because I WANTED to. I wanted to open my eyes and experience a culture different from my own! Besides, you can¡Çt tell me what to do! I worked hard to get here and make it this far. Why should you care where I go or how I live?

Him: I don¡Çt. It¡Çs your life.

Me: But you still don¡Çt want me here.

Him: I never wanted you here.

He didn¡Çt even pause- he just straight up said it, completely serious. I didn¡Çt really know how to respond to that for a few minutes, so I shook my head and looked away. This is exactly our problem, I thought, We just can¡Çt understand each other.

Me: Do you want me to leave, then?

Him: Huh?

Me: You JUST SAID that you never wanted me here in the first place. Should I leave, then?

Him: Wait- no, uh, when I said I never wanted you here, that was a mistake. Jeez- it came out wrong, okay? Don¡Çt get upset, please. Shit- uh, give me a minute to think¡Ä

I just looked at him, really frustrated and tired. And hungry. And cold. He alternated between running his hands through his hair and covering his mouth with his hand. After a few moments of silence he turned to me, looked me right in the eyes, and started talking really slowly.

Him: Okay¡ÄWhen I said that I never wanted you here¡Äthat was true. When Onee-san said that she had gotten an American match from the exchange company, she told us all about you. I thought, Great, another American otaku trying to pass off as a Japanese. The more she told us about you, the more that I didn¡Çt want you here. I told myself that¡Ä.I would ignore you, and live apart from you. That way, you could have your Japanese excursion while I could live my normal life. But¡ÄI didn¡Çt really think about how you would be living WITH me. ALL the time. No matter where I was, you were there, too. Everyone in school made a fuss about you. That made me mad, too. When the lunch money got stolen, you were right in the middle of it, and it was my fault. When I was on the train with my friends going home from Shibuya- Ta da!- there you were. You were everywhere I was, and it made me mad. I didn¡Çt even know how much you were suffering, too, until I saw you crying.

He paused, but I didn¡Çt say anything. I had really been hoping we didn¡Çt have to bring that up, but it wasn¡Çt like I could deny it.

Me: I was crying about losing my passport. It had nothing to do with you.

Him: I know that now. But when I saw you, I thought that maybe you had gotten so sick of being in Japan that you¡Çd lost it, and it was all my fault. Even with your passport, if I had not treated you so badly, you would have been more comfortable coming to me and asking me where it was, instead of crying by yourself.

Me: So if you know all that, why don¡Çt you treat me nicer? If there are things that I do or say that piss you off, I¡Çll try to stop.

Him: I tried being nice by walking you to school last morning. I know that I always leave the house early, but you at least get to walk with Onee-san to school. Now that she is helping her friend out in the morning, you have to walk alone. I skipped my meeting to eat breakfast and walk with you, and all I got was a lecture from the teacher. I was pissed about that, and blamed it on you, even though it was my choice. Then, when you showed up and bugged me about it, I got mad and ended up hurting you.

Me: You don¡Çt have to go that far. I don¡Çt expect you to go so far out of your way for me, when you didn¡Çt even want me here to begin with.

Him: Then what do you want? I¡Çve been trying to figure it out for a while now, but I keep reaching dead ends! If I ignore you, I get called on for it by my family and friends, but if I try to be nice, I fuck it up and make things worse than before. Tell me- what do I say and do with you? What is the right thing to do?

Me: Just relax. You don¡Çt need to be super polite or anything. A little common courtesy is all I ask. And STOP telling me to go home. It upsets me. I had to work really hard to learn Japanese, get my grades up, and get the right recommendations to come here.

Him: Okay. And at school?

Me: The same thing. A little ¡Èhello¡É in the halls would be nice, but you don¡Çt have to. If you need to tell me something, like you won¡Çt be home until late, tell me yourself. Stop using Sukiko as a messenger. She hates it and so do I.

Him: Is that all?

Me: I can¡Çt give you a manual, you know! Figure it out!

After that, we agreed it was time to go home and we walked together. Fujiomi told me that he often goes to that park at night, so if I were to see him again, to not freak out again. Since then, I have to admit that Fujiomi has been¡ÄWell- ¡Èa gentleman¡É would be going too far. But he has been nicer and much more thoughtful. He doesn¡Çt say ¡ÈHi¡É to me in school, but if we walk past one another, he does that chin-lift thing at me. You know, that move that guys do to say ¡ÈHi¡É, but it¡Çs more of a, ¡ÈHey-I¡Çll-just-flick-my-head-in-your-general-direction-to-acknowledge-your-presence¡É type of thing. He, I, and Sukiko all walked to school together yesterday morning, and he bought me a hot milk coffee from a vending machine. I was fascinated. I mean, It was HOT. And tasty. And even when I spilled some soup on his pant leg this morning, he didn¡Çt get mad! He kind of glared at it, but he simply helped me wipe it up and waited for the wet spot in his knee to dry before he left for school. He said in return for not yelling at me, though, I have to make him a bento for lunch one day. I¡Çm not sure if he was serious¡Ä

Looks like I won¡Çt have time to tell you about karaoke. Until next time, then! I plan on updating on Friday or Saturday (American time), so please look forward to it.

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