Aug 26 2007
The Hierarchy of Pickup Motivations
Top: Masculine Man - Primarily for the Girls’ Pleasure (succeed through sexual state based on horniness of desire and excitement about pleasuring her)
Fantasy - her having the time of her life at your hands even though no one else will ever know. Private giving of pleasure. De-emphasis of blowjobs, of pure pleasure of viewing her naked, and of other pleasure YOU’LL be getting from her. It’s always about achieving a great connection where you BOTH enjoy it incredibly, but it’s coming from a place of you giving to her and her receiving with ultimate joy.
You can hold off cumming because you aren’t in it for that, and after you cum once you can continue much more easily because your primary purpose is in no way finished. You wish to pleasure her until she simply can’t take any more.
This level is about self-discipline, self-control, and being a real man. What is being a real man? What are the defining mental characteristics of a man? Being in control of yourself, lack of self-indulgence (a feminine characteristic)…these are very central characteristics of a man, although we have forgotten this as a society.
This level therefore asserts as its worldview that a woman’s job is to receive pleasure, to be indulged under the man’s lead.
Other benefits: Healthier hormone balance, deeper voice, more kakkoii’s from J-girls, easier to do pickups, more self-discipline in all areas of life, more life drive, easier to manage relationships, less likely to get in arguments with chicks, pickup lifestyle remains very easy to maintain, sex is an ever-increasing source of pleasure.
Mid: Feminine Man - Primarily for Your Own Pleasure (still can succeed through sexual state based on horniness of personal desire to see her body, get your dick wet in her, etc.)
Fantasy - Getting to see her naked, 69-ing her for the great view, getting a great blowjob from her, feeling her super-soft pussy wrap itself around your steely cock, cumming in her mouth / on her face, threesomes, booty call mentality…besides the last one, none of these things are inherently bad and they are in fact all part of the top level, but NOT as the focus. In this mid-level these elements ARE the focus, while her pleasure becomes a side dish. You want to see her horny and happy, and you’ll make efforts to pleasure her to a degree, but do not go all out.
When you have cum once you notice your desire to continue is massively curtailed, as your main purpose has been achieved. Therefore you are in little position to give her great sex.
This level is about self-indulgence, an inherently feminine trait. If you base your pickup around this, you’ll little by little paint yourself into a corner with all your chicks and it will damage your success with increasing severity at all levels…as you essentially become a girly-man! This level is easy to slip into, even if you started out at the top, not just because humans tend to be lazy, but also because women do not generally understand their role and this will cause your frame to wear down over time as you are exposed to many different women, unless you consciously and deliberately reinforce your top-level frame as you go.
This level therefore asserts as its worldview that a woman’s job is to give pleasure, to indulge the man. Hence the "booty call" mentality. Note that girls who naturally allow themselves to be booty call girls create a dangerous temptation for the man at the top level. But there’s no problem as long as the man ensures it’s a booty call for her, not him
In other words, booty call girls are great as long as you can remain committed to giving her awesome pleasure every time she comes, sending her home extremely satisfied and walking on air for the next few days because of it (top-level).
Other detriments - possible damaged hormone balance, higher voice, laziness and lack of control in all areas of life, difficulty in managing relationshps, getting in more arguments with chicks, losing your meaning and purpose in life, (ironically) not enjoying sex as much over time, and risk slipping into the lowest level (see below).
Low: Desexualized Dude - Primarily for Validation from Others (motivated by fear and feeling of emptiness, lack of pear acceptance, desire to create envy in others, rooted in low self-esteem…no sexual state - HA!)
Not even coming from a place of horniness or excitement in the pickup. It’s pickup divorced from it’s reason for being: hot sex (whether primarily for her pleasure or for yours). Ouch.
Fantasy - showing up other guys by walking arm-in-arm with your trophy girls, having people think of you as the scoring machine, the guy who gets all the hot chicks with little effort.
In this level sex itself is not that important and probably not that good unless by fluke. Many guys in this category will being interested in making girlfriends more, because sex just doesn’t interest them that much. They more desire validation and perhaps security.
Really, at this level things are so screwed up that any number of strange problems may result and the pickup lifestyle is in grave danger of collapsing on itself under the weight of myriad failed relationships, fights and bitterness. Either that or Mr. Pickup Artist continues with this, addicted to the peer validation and warm chummy relations with other guys, and simply becomes more and more of a fucked up character as his life progresses.
My aim in pickup is a 90/9/1 ratio of top-to-mid-to-low motivation.
In other words 90% of my motivation should come from desire to pleasure the girl I am picking up. My excitement about the amazing pleasure that’s in store for her is the primary driving force in my sales pitch to get her to come home with me.
9% should come from my own desire to get pleasure. A significant factor still, which I will enjoy in the margins as a side dish - the fruits of my efforts to pleasure women in general.
And 1% should come from validation from others, as something I never focus on but it sits there in the background reassuring me in any time of weakness. When I am really on the ball, I am always careful to deliberately keep this element extremely low by not telling others I meet in real life about my abilities, etc. I know if this element is growing out of hand whenever I notice I’m having trouble breaking it off with a really hot girl that I know it’s time to stop seeing. At times in my life I’ve succumbed to the urge to keep her around a little longer because it’s just so great to see the look on other guys’ faces, but that is BAD! I strongly advise making every effort not to indulge yourself like this if you intend to continue this lifestyle.
Note that I’m definitely not saying it’s wrong to desire pleasure from girls, to want to see their hot pussies spread out in front of your face, to feeling their velvety tounges wrapping around your member. I am saying that you want to show self-discipline and enjoy those things in the margins, knowing that if you just focus on their pleasure you’ll have way more than enough pleasure for yourself. Focusing on their pleasure will, over the months, build you into a super pickup artist who gets all the benefits of all these levels in spades and enjoys it more and more all the time, as you are truly making the world a better place through purely positive, happy interactions with the people in it. Heck, you are even making it better for the next guy as the girl will be better adjusted and more ready for great sex with him, and less tolerant of bad sex and his self-indulgence.